WEBVTT
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I don't lead, I guide.
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I don't lead, I guide.
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I don't force, I flow.
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I don't chase, I attract.
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That's very much the chase, I attract.
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Yeah.
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That's very much the feminine energy.
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Or like I don't react, I respond.
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You know?
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Yeah.
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So all of those things are inherently feminine, but can have some blended masculinity in there.
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Yeah.
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So it's almost like secretly masculine, kind of like quiet power.
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Yeah.
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Covert masculinity.
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You know what?
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I like that.
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I like that.
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Yeah.
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That's exactly what it is.
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Okay, we should coin that because I like that.
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TM.
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TM.
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Psychology.
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Girl Psychology.
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Welcome to Hot Girl Psychology.
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We're a Girls Girl podcast where attractiveness meets attachment wounds.
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Here at Hot Girl Psychology, we believe that the darkest parts of your mind are the sexiest.
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I'm Emily, a startup founder and CEO, and I put the psycho and psychonutritionist.
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And I'm Deanna.
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I'm a clinical psychotherapist, dark romance author, and recovering people pleaser.
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I treat complex trauma by day and I live it by night.
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What's up, girlies?
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First of all, Emily is wearing pink.
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Are you wearing pink for the first time on the show?
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First time ever.
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Our colors are pink and black.
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However, we are goth girlies, so we have struggled to wear pink, but we're gonna try for you.
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We're giving it a shot.
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Yeah.
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Branching out just for you.
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Yes.
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Appreciate us.
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That's our be grateful.
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Trying to let our feminine energy come out.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Speaking of, that is our topic for today.
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That is our topic for today.
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Feminine energy.
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I love this topic.
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I feel like it means so many different things to different people.
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Yeah.
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But today we're gonna talk about, I guess, just what it means to us.
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Absolutely.
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Yes.
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So when you think of feminine energy, what do you not think of?
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I don't think of weakness.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I don't think of weakness.
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And I think that that sometimes is what stops women from tapping into their feminine energy.
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Yeah.
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Is thinking of it as weakness.
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Yeah.
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You know?
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Yeah.
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Because if you think about it, we are not taught to tap into our feminine energy growing up.
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We're not taught to value being intuitive, to value being emotionally expressive.
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We're taught that those things are weak.
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So we are taught that masculine energy is the only road to success.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely.
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So I think a lot of people are afraid of their feminine energy.
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But when I think of it, I do think of it as softer than masculine energy, but I still think of it as strong.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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What do you think feminine energy is and how does it differ from masculine energy?
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Ooh, so to me, feminine energy is like masculine and feminine energy can have different, I guess, qualities to them that are in the same category.
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So like fiery energy, there can be like um sharp energy, there can be like blooming kind of energy, you know, just like very like earthy kind of vibe.
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But they present differently.
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So for example, masculine energy can prevent as fiery in the way that it's like hot and intense and like overbearing and overarching at times.
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Um, and then feminine energy can be fiery in its speed and its intensity, and it can be something that's more lit up than anyone's very romantic.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's and it's that's the cool thing is there's like that yin and yang of masculine versus feminine energy, right?
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And then there's the young yin archetypes of the divine feminine and the divine masculine.
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Yeah.
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But for me, feminine energy is just the way we carry our own womanhood and how we see ourselves in the world around us, how we see ourselves in others, how we see ourselves in ourselves, past versions of ourselves.
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Things along those lines.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I I think would you agree that we should all have both feminine and masculine energy?
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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I think so too.
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And I I don't think it needs to be a perfect balance.
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I think that most people may have one that they lead with more, or that is the more dominant energy.
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Yeah.
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But I think that they should both play a role within your life.
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Yeah.
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And it's about finding the balance that works for you.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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And what's cool about this is you can find the balance that works for your spirit, soul, energy, whatever it is you want to call it.
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And you can always find a complimentary soul out there.
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It helps you meet the gaps where you don't fill those holes for yourself.
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Yes, absolutely.
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Yeah, that's something to note because you can tap into masculine or feminine energy depending on who you're with, depending on your environment.
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Um and so like archetypes, they are states that you flow in and out of.
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Yeah.
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You know?
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Yeah.
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And I think of feminine energy specifically as being very receptive.
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Yeah.
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So receiving love.
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Yeah.
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Receiving experiences, receiving ideas.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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That's where it's like very soft, right?
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Because it's it's at a place where it's like willing to receive, which you know what it's like when like feminine energy is non-receptive, right?
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Like when it kind of trends more toward the masculine, it comes across as like just cold, I guess.
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You know, like it's not warm at all.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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Feminine energy in general to me is very, very warm.
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Absolutely.
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And it's also very intuitive.
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Yeah.
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And it is emotional, empathetic, absolutely creative, expressive.
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Yeah.
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It's nurturing.
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It's sensual.
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It is very sensual.
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Very sensual, very sexy.
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It's very flowing.
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Yes.
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To me, feminine energy is all about presence.
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Yeah.
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And depth and connection.
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Presence and depth and connection.
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Yeah.
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I like that.
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So just kind of like being there, having meaning, having purpose, like emotional attunement and creating beauty.
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Creating anything.
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Creating anything.
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Yeah.
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Like creating, expressing.
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Exactly.
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Yeah.
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Exactly.
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We have the feminine energy that bears life in many different forms, right?
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It's not just, you know, physically AFs having babies, but like across the board.
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It's just the way that we create.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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The energy that we bring.
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Yes.
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I I think of feminine energy.
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Feminine energy creates and receives.
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Masculine energy does and fixes.
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It's very receiving versus doing and fixing.
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Yeah.
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I love that.
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Masculine energy is very action-oriented.
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Yeah.
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Which is why I think every woman needs to have masculine energy as well.
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Yeah.
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They need to be able to tap in and in and out of that.
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Um to me, masculine energy, it's harder than feminine energy.
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Not in a bad way, though.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it can be.
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Yeah.
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We can have the hegemonically masculine guys, the toxically masculine guys.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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Absolutely.
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Um, but at its core, it's it's a good thing.
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It's steady, it is decisive, it's logical, it's analytical, it's go goal-oriented, it is structured.
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Yeah.
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It is thinking versus feeling.
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Yeah.
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Which we definitely need sometimes.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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And I feel like this energy is, it does tend to be more dominant.
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Yeah.
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It takes the reins.
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It takes control.
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Yeah.
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You know, absolutely.
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It leads.
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Yeah.
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Which is why the feminine energy has to be receptive to leadership, right?
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Yeah.
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That's where when the coldness is coming, that's feminine energy shut off.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So the biggest issue that I find is that our girlies are too, it's not that they're too tapped into one, but they are not tapped into the other one.
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So they have only feminine energy and don't have enough masculine energy or only masculine energy, not enough feminine energy.
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I would say I I find the most that women have more masculine energy than feminine energy, and they're trying to tap into that softer feminine energy.
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Absolutely.
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What is your take on that of people being like kind of just not having a balance?
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And why does that occur?
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So I just look at it as like an inability to flow in between states.
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Yeah.
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Because flowing in and out of masculinity and flowing in and out of femininity are just kind of part of how we live throughout the day.
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I feel like we carry a lot of different values that can fit in different scenarios that we run into.
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And bringing masculine energy to some of our values, bringing feminine energy to some of our values, like a good attachment to your own value system makes it easy to flow in and out of different energy given when it's needed.
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And what that tells me is it's kind of like they're backed up, you know, or they're emptying out more than what they have energy for, right?
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So they're either backed up with like energy building up, being it um like feminine if it's being held back, like that's when it kind of collapses, right?
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If it does come out.
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So it's just it's just an imbalance across the board.
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I feel like we've actually talked a lot about balance and the importance of balance, and it is such an underrated concept is balance of having all the things you want and all the things that you need.
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Yes.
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And masculine energy and feminine energy are both things that you need and should want.
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Absolutely.
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So I I have had friends that like come to mind of having too much of one, yeah, not enough of the other.
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Yeah.
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Too much feminine energy to me has looked like we love like the very feminine girly, right?
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Like she's very attractive.
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Feminine energy attracts.
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So she's very attractive up all on all levels.
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She's sweet, she's emotionally expressive, she's she's like that girl that just flows with the wind.
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Yeah.
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Like you never know what she's gonna have.
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She's carefree.
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So carefree.
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Um, and she's like in her element.
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Yes.
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Yeah, we love that, but if she has no masculine energy as well, to kind of balance that, it looks like okay, I gave you three options for restaurants to go to dinner, make a fucking decision.
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Why do I always have to choose?
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You know, and they're just like, hey, anywhere is good.
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No, you know, or like, why are you trauma dumping on this stranger?
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Why are you giving this stranger a hug?
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Protect yourself.
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It's it's like the the girly that's nurturing the fuck boy, and you know he's a fuckboy, and you're like, girl, what are you doing?
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Yeah, that's that but that's shadow shit.
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That's because like the divine feminine when she's rooted is sovereign, right?
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Like she is like understanding of where she is appreciated and where she's taken advantage of, right?
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That's part of like the hot girl psychology, is like not letting yourself well knowing where being taken advantage of is more likely.
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And the feminine energy that is like in the light or it has been alchemized, right, in terms of like younggian psychology is going to be significantly less helpless and significantly less reckless and significantly less decisiveless.
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Indecisive.
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Yes, significantly less indecisive.
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Indecisive less.
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Yes, I know what you're saying, uh they were gonna give me a PhD.
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But so she she can set boundaries, she can stand up for herself.
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Absolutely.
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It's and that's where I feel like the misconception of femininity being weakness comes from.
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Is people see maybe a woman that is very tapped into her feminine energy and they're like, no, I don't want that because you're you're not able to do these things.
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Yeah, you know, that we need to do.
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Um that being said, what I see more of is girlies being very tapped into their masculine energy and not being able to tap into their feminine energy.
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That's what I hear from like friends, family, clients, coworkers.
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Um, and I feel like there's so many reasons for that.
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The biggest, we live in a man's world.
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We do.
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Yeah, we really sincerely do.
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So, like we're trying to adapt to that.
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Yeah.
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We're not taught to tap into our feminine energy, we're not taught to value our intuition or value empathy or expression or things like that.
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We are taught that the more masculine traits are what will make us successful.
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And when we're living in a man's world, if like let's say you are a very successful woman at a company and you're not the boss yet, but you are, you know, at the boys' table, you're in the boys' club, are you gonna act super soft there?
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Probably not.
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You're gonna try to meet the men where they're at.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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Yeah, you're gonna try to protect yourself to fit in.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
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Yeah.
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And another part of it too that I see a lot is girlies feeling like their partner isn't doing enough, so they end up doing more.
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Right.
00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:51.120
He's underfunctioning, so she overfunctions.
00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:51.279
Right.
00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:54.639
And doing is inherently masculine.
00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:58.559
It is fixing, yeah, problem solving that is inherently masculine.
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:03.759
And so she becomes the doer, she becomes the fixer.
00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:04.240
Yeah.
00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:07.200
And I feel like I see that all of the time.
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:16.879
And something that a coworker taught me it's uh EFT in couples therapy, a lot of times we'll see a pursuer and a withdrawer.
00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:17.279
Yes.
00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:21.919
And so the pursuer is doing too much and the withdrawal is not doing enough.
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:26.000
But the withdrawal doesn't have room to do anything because the pursuer is taken over.
00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:29.919
But the pursuer thinks that they have to do things or else the things won't get done.
00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:30.399
Yes.
00:15:30.559 --> 00:15:33.440
And that's what I hear so many girlies say to me.
00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:35.840
Yeah, if I didn't do it, nobody would do it.
00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:36.240
Yeah.
00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:37.440
So I have to do it.
00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:37.679
Yeah.
00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:40.320
But the more you do it, the less your partner will do.
00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:40.960
Absolutely.
00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:42.240
Because then they don't have to.
00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:43.039
Absolutely.
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:43.600
Yeah.
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:51.840
No, it's it's um I uh thankfully being single, I've definitely gotten myself in that situation before where I've like been an over-functioner.
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:59.039
Um, and my partner has been an under-functioner, and vice versa too, where I've been the over like it was in the same relationship.
00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:01.840
We were both overfunctioning and underfunctioning at the same time.
00:16:02.159 --> 00:16:03.759
At the same time during the relationship.
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:05.200
Yeah, like we would like switch.
00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:05.759
Okay.
00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:06.399
Interesting.
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:07.279
It was so weird.
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:08.879
It was like we couldn't ever get in balance.
00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:10.240
It was, it was honestly very strange.
00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:10.559
Yeah.
00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:16.879
Yeah, there was no like um equal like distribution of like relationship fearing.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:17.360
Okay.
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:17.600
Yeah.
00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:19.600
You're gonna have to tell me who it was after this.
00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:20.080
Okay.
00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:21.840
I have my theories though.
00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:23.759
Um, that's so cute.
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:24.480
I love that.
00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:36.799
Yeah, I feel like I see another thing too, where people who are in relationships, like feminine energy is only brought out when it's trying to force something, right?
00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:40.879
So it's like trying to subvert, like subversively get what it wants.
00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:42.960
So like a passive aggressive kind of deal.
00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:43.440
Yes.
00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:43.759
Yeah.
00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:48.399
Like somebody who like wants to be in their alchemized feminine energy, but just like doesn't really know how.
00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:56.960
And so they have to use the like passive aggressive kind of pull yourself back, but then also do at the same time without like do without doing kind of thing.
00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:57.440
Yes.
00:16:57.600 --> 00:16:57.759
Yeah.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:16:58.559
Do you know what I'm saying?
00:16:58.720 --> 00:16:59.039
100%.
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:00.320
Because I feel like I do that.
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:00.879
Do you really?
00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:01.840
Yes, yes.
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:04.559
It it reminds me of dark feminine energy.
00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:05.039
It does.
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:07.519
Um, because it's like it's like Camir, Kimir.
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:07.920
Yes.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:08.240
Yeah, yeah.
00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:09.440
It's kitten mode.
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:09.920
Kitten mode.
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:10.079
Yes.
00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:11.680
What my clients would call it kitten mode.
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:12.559
That's so funny.
00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:13.039
I like that.
00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:14.319
I like that.
00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:14.720
Yes.
00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:15.119
Yeah.
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:16.319
Yes, kitten mode.
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:23.119
Um, yeah, and we we should also talk about dark feminine energy versus light feminine energy or soft feminine energy.
00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:23.359
Yeah.
00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:27.359
But I do think that I actually do that a lot.
00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:38.640
I I feel like that's how I've personally been able to blend masculine energy into feminine energy because I have a lot of feminine energy and I always have.
00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:39.119
Yeah.
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:51.839
And it has been too much at certain points that it has made me like just not be able to take up space, take care of things, you know, just like do the shit.
00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:52.480
Yeah.
00:17:52.799 --> 00:18:04.559
So when I was trying to start doing those things, and I was like pretty, I figured it out pretty young that like I needed to tap into my masculine energy more.
00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:10.160
But I went just too far to the other direction.
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:13.759
And it came off as very cold, like you had said before.
00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:17.839
I I mean nobody ever called me like masculine or domineering or anything like that.
00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:19.680
Deanna the Dominatrix.
00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:20.319
Yes.
00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:24.720
Because I don't think it was obvious, but I think that it came off as very cold.
00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:26.720
That was my version of masculinity.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:46.240
So instead, I needed to blend it, and I feel like that's kind of what the dark feminine energy can be is like a I mean, it's very sexy as well, but it can blend parts of masculine energy versus just having versus viewing it as this is feminine energy, this is masculine energy.
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:54.240
It's like I'm sprinkling masculine energy into my feminine energy and then like stirring it up and creating something new.
00:18:54.400 --> 00:18:57.119
And so I don't lead, I guide.
00:18:57.440 --> 00:18:58.799
I don't lead, I guide.
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:00.880
I don't force, I flow.
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:03.440
I don't chase, I attract.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:06.720
That's very much the chase, I attract.
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:12.319
Yeah, that's very much the feminine energy, or like I don't react, I respond.
00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:13.519
You know?
00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:14.000
Yeah.
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:23.519
So all of those things are inherently feminine, but can have some blended masculinity in there.
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:23.920
Yeah.
00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:29.839
So it's almost like secretly masculine, kind of like quiet power, yeah.
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:31.200
Covert masculinity.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:31.680
You know what I mean?
00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:32.319
I like that.
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:33.440
I like that.
00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:34.880
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:36.640
Okay, we should coin that because I like that.
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:37.599
TM.
00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:38.480
TM.
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:42.079
What do you think you lean more towards?
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:46.000
Feminine or masculine, and how has that evolved over the years?
00:19:46.559 --> 00:19:49.839
Masculine historically, like almost like exclusively masculine.
00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:53.039
I didn't even know that feminine energy existed until like maybe last year.
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:54.000
Like low key.
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:56.720
Like yesterday.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:00.160
Um, but like low-key, seriously.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:06.559
Um, when I'm with a partner, I can be feminine, but if they're really incompetent, I just turn into a raging bitch.
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:07.920
Like to be totally honest.
00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:09.920
Yeah, I can't do incompetence at all.
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:10.559
I hate it.
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:14.000
Um, so I've learned to just stay away from partners who I find to be incompetent.
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:27.680
And then I am very feminine, like super feminine, but I'm I can't be feminine around weakness because I don't fear many things, and a man who fears things is not going to bring out the feminine in me.
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:36.240
So when I feel like I'm with somebody who helps me feel safe, like that just makes my body naturally feel safe.
00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:38.240
I'm perfectly happy being feminine.
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:38.880
Yeah.
00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:39.279
Yeah.
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:43.039
So it really depends on your environment and who you're with.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:47.279
My most, my, my most feminine energy trait is that my feminine energy is responsive.
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:48.160
Yeah.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:53.759
Do you do you enjoy being in your feminine energy when someone's able to bring that out in you?
00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:54.480
I think so.
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:54.960
Yeah.
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:58.640
I haven't had it consistently enough to like know.
00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:02.559
But the times that it has happened, I would do really enjoy it.
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:06.079
I would say that my feminine energy when I'm connected to it is very empowered.
00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:13.200
Otherwise, I'm very like um just kind of overfunctioning or underfunctioning.
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:14.240
I have I have three.
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:16.960
Empowered, underfunctioning, overfunctioning.
00:21:17.119 --> 00:21:17.519
Yes.
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:19.440
Those are the only three I have.
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:22.640
We probably all have those three as well.
00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:23.440
Yeah.
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:23.839
Yeah.
00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:24.160
Yeah.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:25.680
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to them.
00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:26.960
Yeah, I'm positive.
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:30.880
It sounds like it's the the buckets of of feminine energy, honestly.
00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:31.279
Yeah.
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:31.680
Yeah.
00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:33.759
Like it can be one of those three and no other.
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.240
Yeah.
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:35.440
Yeah, for sure.
00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:36.000
Yeah.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:36.880
Yeah.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:45.359
What you're saying about the people that you're with being able to bring it out or not bring it out or bring out more masculine energy.
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:48.160
I hear that a lot.
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:52.160
I feel like most girlies want to be in their feminine energy.
00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:52.559
Yeah.
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.119
They want to be able to do that, but they can't do that.
00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:55.440
Right.
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:56.720
They feel like they can't do that.
00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:58.400
They don't feel like they have somebody safe.
00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:58.799
Yes.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:11.599
They don't feel like they're Have a safe environment, so that could be a work environment, that could be a home environment, um, or they don't feel safe in their relationships, so friendships, romantic relationship, the biggest one.
00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:12.000
Right.
00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:20.319
And so something that I've uh told my friends and clients, and they hate, hate, hate this.
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:28.079
It is if you want to tap into your feminine energy in a relationship, do less.
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:28.799
Yes.
00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:29.759
Do nothing.
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.319
Yes.
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:31.200
Receive.
00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:31.920
Only.
00:22:32.079 --> 00:22:32.319
Yeah.
00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:32.960
That's it.
00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:33.440
Yes.
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:34.960
That's the only thing you can do.
00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:36.160
Receive.
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:45.759
And if your partner isn't doing something that's necessary, don't do it for them, or you will become mommy.
00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:47.359
Oh my God.
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:51.759
I was totally mommy in too many of my relationships.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:52.559
Way too many.
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:52.880
Yeah.
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:53.440
Too many.
00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:55.680
And then also like they were a daddy.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:58.799
But not in like a good way, not in like a hot way.
00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:01.680
Like in a like in like a not great way.
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:05.440
Um, because it just It's too much.
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:10.799
It's too on the the pendulum is swinging too far to the other.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:11.279
Yes.
00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:11.519
Yeah.
00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:13.359
So I used to just be the one or the other, right?
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:22.720
And then the empowered is just I don't want to get involved with anybody until I feel like I'm not going to become mommy and they're not going to become the father of doom.
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:23.279
Yes.
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:24.880
Yeah, for sure.
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:25.440
Yeah.
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:25.839
Yeah.
00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:35.920
So just learning to receive is also putting up boundaries with yourself and like not fucking going out and like, you know, I know we just did an episode on dating, but no, it's really important.
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:39.359
Like how how to be in your feminine energy while dating is very, very important.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:42.720
And if you don't feel like you can be in your feminine energy, then just pause on dating.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:43.440
Yes.
00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:45.359
Yeah, that's that's really good advice.
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:46.400
That's really good advice.
00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:48.319
Because you're just not ready yet, and that's okay.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:48.799
Yeah.
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:49.119
Yeah.
00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:49.519
Yeah.
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:49.839
Yeah.
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:51.279
I completely agree with that.
00:23:51.519 --> 00:24:01.519
I see that a lot too with people dating or girlies dating that they want a guide to be masculine but not domineering.
00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:03.680
And they're like, why is that so hard to find?
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:04.079
Yeah.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:06.880
Because they seem to be so one or the other.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:07.200
Yeah.
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:10.400
And it's like, yes, I want you to pick the damn place.
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:16.720
Yes, I want you to make a move, but don't tell me we have to go here.
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:19.200
Don't order for me without asking what I want.
00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:23.599
Don't push me up against a wall if I have not given my consent to kiss you.
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:26.400
Why is that so hard to find?
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:28.799
But that's what I'm seeing.
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.720
Like it is, it is very hard to find.
00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:31.119
Yeah.
00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:31.519
Yeah.
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:33.599
You just like just don't go on dates with those people.
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:34.960
Like you can feel them beforehand.
00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:38.559
You know, like you can truly deeply feel like when someone's gonna be that way.
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:43.119
And when you talk yourself out of your intuition, that is you stifling your feminine energy.
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:43.839
Absolutely.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:52.079
I I think that that's a great tip too for for dating, is being able to wean these people out.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:52.640
Yeah.
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:58.960
And then saying, okay, I'm making a boundary and this is a divine feminine thing to do.
00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.519
It is.
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:07.279
Is to make this boundary and decide that this person is not going to mesh with my feminine energy and they don't deserve it.
00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:07.680
Right.
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:12.319
Because, like you said, you need to be safe to feel your most feminine.00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:12.880
Yeah.00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:18.480
So don't fuck with anybody that you think you won't feel safe with.00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:18.880
Right.00:25:19.039 --> 00:25:20.000
Don't even give it a shot.00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:24.400
And if your body tells you that you won't feel safe, like that is your body knows.00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:25.519
Your body keeps the score.00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:36.640
I I feel like for relationships, girlies that are too in their masculine, I it's always do less.00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:37.279
Yeah.00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:39.440
I'm gonna give a real life example.00:25:39.519 --> 00:25:42.880
And my husband's right there, so now I'm giving him like the playbook right now.00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:51.519
But um if I ask him to take out the trash, that's his job.00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:55.279
You know, we have like different jobs within the household.00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:59.680
And if he doesn't take it out, I will never take it out.00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:05.039
I will let it get all the way to the top, and I'll keep putting stuff up on there.00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:06.960
He knows that I do this anyway.00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:09.519
Um, but I'm not getting a new trash bag.00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:12.960
I'm not doing, I'm just going to keep continue to do what I do.00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:17.519
I'm going to do nothing, and eventually he will do it.00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:26.160
There are a lot of girlies that are not okay with that because a lot of girlies have OCD-like tendencies when it comes to their house.00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:30.319
But that seems to be the biggest thing that I hear when it comes to relationships.00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:30.799
Yeah.00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:39.039
And like marriage is people living together, one person doing all of all of the things and the other person not doing enough.00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:41.599
And a lot of times it's the girly doing all of the things.00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:42.799
She overfunctions.00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:43.279
Yeah.00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:49.200
And the boy, the boy underfunctions.00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:52.319
And but a lot of times they just don't really have room.00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:52.720
Yeah.00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:59.680
You know, and gender roles aside, you will always have your just roles assigned within the household.00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:00.160
Yeah.00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:04.000
So just make sure that you're not doing too much.00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:04.720
Absolutely.00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:07.200
And don't allow your partner to do too little.00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:07.759
Yeah.00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:08.880
You know, it's interesting.00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:15.119
I grew up, my um mom did everything, and she wouldn't let my dad do anything.00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:16.160
That's what happens.00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:16.880
Yes.00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:17.519
Let him.00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:20.799
But he also never would have if he had had the opportunity.00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:21.359
Right.00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:24.319
Because he did not lift a fucking finger when he was in the house.00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:27.920
It was That was a system that was created before you were even around.00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:28.240
Ugh.00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:30.000
And then just became the norm.00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:30.559
Yes.00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:35.440
So what I did was when I got married, because I got married at like 20, I was a little baby.00:27:35.759 --> 00:27:36.240
Very young.00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:36.960
So young.00:27:37.359 --> 00:27:45.279
When I got married, my ex-husband, he did every chore that I asked him to because he grew up watching his mom do the same thing.00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:47.359
And we were like, nope, not us.00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:52.880
Um, and it was tough because like sometimes he just wouldn't do stuff and it would drive me insane.00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:57.359
And instead of just continuing to pile things up, I would just be like, please get up and do this now.00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:08.400
And then I would, you know, like I was young, so I'd be like kind of low key freaking the fuck out and being like, this needs to be done, or else I my untreated BPDS was like, I'm just gonna die.00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:11.200
I'm literally just gonna die.00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:12.880
Like nothing will ever be okay.00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:15.039
You could tell it was the end of the fucking world.00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:16.880
Yeah, it was the end of the fucking world.00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:18.400
It was so bad.00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.279
So or will come down with his hammer because I'm that special.00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:23.839
I'm literally literally.00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:32.720
So um he did though, you know, he would he would get things done, and then like sometimes he'd be really like delightful in doing it because he felt like he was helping and he liked that.00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:39.359
Other times it was just me flipping out, just like, please, God, send your angel to save me.00:28:39.839 --> 00:28:48.480
I feel like that's um that's been something that I've been really intentional about, is like not never ever ever being in a relationship where chores are not shared.00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:49.039
Yes.00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:52.880
Like I'm okay delegate, I'm okay like directing the chore experience.00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:55.839
But well, I mean, like, okay, you do this and this and this, absolutely.00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:58.079
I think that's the only way to do it, honestly.00:28:58.319 --> 00:28:58.880
Yeah, for sure.00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:01.200
I mean, in agreement, yeah, absolutely.00:29:01.359 --> 00:29:10.319
And then, you know, but I'm not fine being like if you say you're gonna do something, fucking get it done.00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:13.680
Or don't fucking say you're gonna do it.00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:14.559
Yes.00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:16.240
At all.00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:17.119
Yeah.00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:19.039
Don't fucking waste my time.00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:21.759
So see, that's what I'm talking about.00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:23.759
That's the like the demon from hell.00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.440
Don't fucking waste my time.00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:26.559
Or else.00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:30.319
Um No, I that doesn't sound like the demon from hell.00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:34.480
That sounds because I don't let the demon from hell come out anymore, but you can get on demon time.00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:35.039
It happens.00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:50.480
It sounds like your masculine energy like needing to come out and needing to come out in a full force way, yes, and not a healthy way, but that's not something that you created, it's something that the other person created, and now this is the way that your body and your mind is reacting to that.00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:58.400
Yes, but in those times I wish my body and mind would have reacted by leaving and being in that relationship and all the other things that do that.00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:00.559
Well, that's like responding versus reacting.00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:02.319
Yes, yes, definitely.00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:10.640
Um, yeah, but it's it's good to see like when I'm not with people like that, I have a really fantastic time.00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:11.119
Yeah.00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:12.480
Because I can trust them.00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:16.079
I don't like being with people, like it feels like a mistrust kind of thing.00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:21.279
If you can't trust your partner to like help out when you need them, yes, and do what they say they're gonna do.00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:25.039
God uh pick my eyes out with a fucking ice pick.00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.559
Like I can't stand that shit.00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:30.880
Scoop my nose off with a spoon.00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:33.839
It's so true.00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:34.640
It's so real.00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:37.039
I I'm borderline psychopathic about it.00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:39.440
Like I just can't get out of my fucking way.00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:53.440
Okay, so switching gears, I wanna talk a little bit about dark feminine energy versus I like to call it soft feminine energy versus light feminine energy.00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:57.759
Just because I feel like soft is like such an all-encompassing.00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:00.319
Have you ever watched the show Euphoria?00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:01.759
Oh fuck yeah.00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:02.880
Okay, amazing.00:31:03.119 --> 00:31:04.480
Okay, so did you see?00:31:04.559 --> 00:31:07.039
I guess it was this last season.00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:08.799
No, I haven't seen the most recent season.00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:11.759
I haven't watched it since 2022.00:31:12.559 --> 00:31:16.079
Okay, there haven't been many seasons, I think only two or three seasons.00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:16.640
Yeah.00:31:16.799 --> 00:31:20.960
Um, and a new one is coming out soon, but they're not paying me to see this.00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:26.720
Um but uh and so can I give you a spoiler then?00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:28.000
Uh-oh, yes.00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:33.839
Yeah, so is his name or no, his name is Jacob Alordi in real life.00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:35.680
What is his name in the show?00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:39.359
I don't remember.00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:43.279
Okay, well, I'm obsessed with him either way because I am toxic.00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:47.039
Or just the toxic part of me is obsessed with him.00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:48.640
Anyway, he's horrible.00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.920
He is a very okay, I think our producer is looking it up.00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:53.119
What is his name?00:31:54.319 --> 00:31:54.640
Nate.00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:55.519
Nate.00:31:56.079 --> 00:31:58.079
No, of course it's Nate.00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:02.240
Oh, of course it's Nate.00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:05.920
There, okay, uh, dickhead guys always have a one-syllable name.00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:14.799
I'm sorry to my husband name Jake, but it's it's always like Nate or Brad or Chad or Roy or Troy.00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:17.680
Uh don't fuck all of you guys.00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:18.480
I'm sorry.00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:22.480
Um, I'm sure some of you are wonderful people, but most of you are not.00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:34.079
Um so Nate, Nate um is the you know the main guy, and he's it's very obvious that he's an incredibly abusive guy.00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:35.920
Like we all know that as viewers.00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:40.880
Um, he's still very attractive, which is kind of the dark romance piece of it.00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:49.680
But he is with this girl, Maddie, for a while, and then he starts dating her best friend Cassie.00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:52.319
Um, so that's Sydney Sweeney, is Cassie.00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:56.400
And he there's a montage where he compares the two girls.00:32:56.559 --> 00:32:56.960
Yeah.00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:04.480
And it's Maddie versus Cassie, and it is literally dark feminine energy versus light feminine energy.00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:05.839
That's so interesting.00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:06.319
Yeah.00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:12.400
So if you can find that scene, watch it because that is exactly how I would describe each of those things.00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:14.720
And he's saying that one is better than the other.00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:16.559
I don't think one is better than the other.00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:17.759
I think that you should have both.00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:21.839
I think that that is the divine feminine to be able to have both.00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:27.680
Um, but so to for myself, I feel like dark feminine energy is my aesthetic.00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:30.160
I mean, that's like the aesthetic of this podcast.00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:30.480
Yeah.00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:31.119
For sure.00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:34.079
It's the aesthetic of my books, like what I wear.00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:38.799
But I actually feel like soft feminine energy, light feminine energy is like my soul.00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:39.200
Yeah.00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:44.880
No, it the way that you dress is very um soft feminine, despite the fact that it's very dark feminine.00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:46.319
I don't know how to explain it.00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:47.680
I I totally get that.00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:54.880
I I feel like I try to have a blend of both of them, but I I I have a lot of soft feminine energy.00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:56.400
You're very soft, yeah.00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:58.880
And I I love that about myself.00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:01.359
I that's my favorite thing probably about myself.00:34:01.599 --> 00:34:03.920
The soft feminine energy feels really, really good.00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.119
That being said, dark feminine energy is also amazing.00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:14.320
I I find it that a lot of women find this more difficult to tap into.00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:17.199
Yeah, because it's inherently sexual.00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:17.679
Yeah.00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:24.239
And a lot of people aren't comfortable being sexual or being seen as sexy.00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:30.000
It doesn't even necessarily have to do with sex itself, it's more the sensuality piece of it.00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:30.320
Yeah.00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:35.360
But to me, dark feminine energy, it's very it's strong, yes, seductive.00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:42.639
Yes, it's magnetic, witty, yeah, intentional, controlled.00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:46.159
The dark feminine girly is elegant.00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:51.760
Yeah, she's sexy, she's refined, she's mysterious, she's intriguing.00:34:53.039 --> 00:35:03.760
She's she reminds me of she could be the femme fatale, the siren, but uh, the most extreme version of this to me is like she's the hot vampire that lives inside of you.00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:06.320
She is the hot vampire that lives inside of you.00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:07.440
Yeah, I love that.00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:08.960
And we need her.00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:12.480
We do we need her, we need her so bad.00:35:12.719 --> 00:35:15.679
I feel like you can tap into this energy.00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:20.400
You're you're gonna love us masturbating.00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:22.159
Yes, you fucking can.00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:32.159
Because the dark feminine should be very focused on pleasure, yes, you should indulgence, indulgence, you should feel secure in your body.00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.480
Yeah, you should be owning your sexuality.00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:39.440
Yes, that's where I think a lot of girlies struggle is owning their sexuality.00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:43.519
Yeah, and there's a lot of reasons why we feel like we can't own our sexuality.00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:44.400
For sure.00:35:44.559 --> 00:35:49.760
Um, but if you want to tap into this, try to do that, you know, pleasure yourself.00:35:49.920 --> 00:36:00.320
Wear, wear some black, wear some lace, buy yourself something luxurious, read a dark romance book, preferably one of mine.00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:12.559
You know, like get into your shit and visualize who who your inner dark feminine girly is, who your inner vampire girly is.00:36:12.639 --> 00:36:13.519
Like what what is yours?00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:15.280
What do you visu visualize her as?00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:18.559
I can't be just you, but like a very extreme version.00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:24.639
Um like just very scary.00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:25.599
I'm I'm scary.00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:26.000
Okay.00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:26.800
I'm scary.00:36:27.039 --> 00:36:27.519
No, I like that.00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.039
I'm scary and intimidating.00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:29.440
Okay.00:36:29.599 --> 00:36:29.760
Yeah.00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:31.280
When I'm at like my extreme self.00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:38.159
But like in a very um when I'm contained, it's very calm and very scary.00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:42.559
Okay, so that that's the dark feminine because it's very, very controlled.00:36:42.719 --> 00:36:43.199
Yes.00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:46.000
So yeah, so controlled but scary.00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:46.400
Yeah.00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:47.519
Okay, I like that.00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:48.079
Thank you.00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:48.639
I like that.00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:49.039
Thank you.00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:49.519
What about you?00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:50.320
What's yours?00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:52.559
I feel like mine is very femme fatale.00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:55.920
Very like femme fatale in the 50s.00:36:56.239 --> 00:36:57.920
She drinks gin martinis.00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:00.639
I don't drink gin martinis, but she does.00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:07.920
And uh of course she's wearing all black, and maybe she genuinely is a vampire or she's dating one.00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:10.079
She probably is one, honestly.00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:10.559
Yeah.00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:10.960
Yeah.00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:11.840
That makes sense.00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:12.239
Yeah.00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:14.880
I feel like I've gone too long without watching vampire daries.00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:16.239
That's what this is telling me.00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:20.400
Because I'm like, I'm like having withdrawals right now.00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:26.079
You know, it's like when I start bringing it up a lot, it's like I've gone too much.00:37:26.320 --> 00:37:29.280
Okay, but so soft feminine energy.00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:29.679
Yeah.00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:32.320
What do you think about what is what is your take?00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:34.960
What is soft feminine energy versus dark feminine energy?00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:36.400
Letting them do it for me.00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:37.599
Okay.00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:39.440
I can do it, but I don't have to.00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:40.239
I'll let you.00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:40.800
Yes.00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:42.400
That is my soft feminine energy.00:37:42.559 --> 00:37:44.079
Like, let them do it for me.00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:51.440
Um, like, but it it like requires choosing somebody who does it.00:37:51.679 --> 00:37:51.920
Yeah.00:37:52.159 --> 00:37:53.440
Like letting them take care of it.00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:56.719
But it requires somebody who opts to take care.00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:57.199
Yes.00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:58.079
Let them.00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:01.360
It's a lot of like let them, you know, like so I don't need to.00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:01.840
Yeah.00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:02.239
Yeah.00:38:02.400 --> 00:38:04.320
It's it's a lot of receptiveness.00:38:04.559 --> 00:38:05.440
Yes, yes.00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:11.599
For me, it's receptiveness because that's not the thing that I usually have turned on when it comes to pretty much anyone else on earth.00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:12.159
Yeah.00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:13.039
Yeah.00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:14.800
Receptiveness is really important.00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:16.480
I'm I'm big on receptiveness.00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:25.519
I'm big on the yes and thing of being able to flow conversationally or just experientially.00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:26.079
Yeah.00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:33.920
Being able to be like yes and what else, you know, versus yes or or yes, but or no.00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:34.559
Yeah.00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:36.000
It's an abundance mindset.00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:36.639
Yes.00:38:36.880 --> 00:38:37.280
I love that.00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:41.440
Yes, which I feel like femininity is very abundance mindset.00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:43.360
It's very attracting things.00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:45.599
It's very manifest, very manifesty.00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:46.079
Yeah.00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:52.159
I feel like the soft feminine energy, the actually dark feminine energy and soft feminine energy are very, very manifesty.00:38:52.400 --> 00:39:00.559
I think that's just feminine energy, but soft feminine energy to me is very connected, creative, romantic.00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:00.960
Yeah.00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:09.360
It's sweet, gentle, nurturing, yeah, empathetic, joyful, yeah, peaceful, playful, playful.00:39:09.519 --> 00:39:10.000
Yeah.00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:12.960
She's she's a vulnerable girly.00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:14.719
She's flowing.00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:18.239
She's connected to nature, to animals, to people.00:39:18.639 --> 00:39:21.119
She's she's she's the soul divine.00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:22.480
She's the soul divine.00:39:22.639 --> 00:39:25.840
She is writing poetry in a fairy garden somewhere.00:39:26.079 --> 00:39:26.559
I love that.00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:27.920
That's very idea.00:39:30.239 --> 00:39:30.719
It is.00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:31.840
I I have a lot.00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:33.039
I have a lot of this.00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:35.519
My feminine energy is green juice.00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:36.400
Oh, okay.00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:37.199
No, I like that.00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:40.559
Yeah, it's definitely, and we'll talk eventually about that girl, the archetype.00:39:40.719 --> 00:39:40.880
Yeah.00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:42.960
The green juice archetype.00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:44.480
The green juice girl.00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:45.119
No, I like that.00:39:46.559 --> 00:39:46.719
Yes.00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.599
Yes, I'm also the green juice girl.00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:50.639
I'm the green juice girl.00:39:50.719 --> 00:39:51.679
I'm the biohacking girl.00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:56.880
I'm the like, yeah, take the best care ever of my body, my hair, my skin, my nails, my fucking face.00:39:57.119 --> 00:39:58.400
That's a really important archetype.00:39:58.639 --> 00:39:58.719
Yeah.00:39:58.800 --> 00:39:58.880
Yeah.00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:01.519
Like literally, that is my feminine energy, is my beauty.00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:01.920
Yeah.00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:02.320
Yeah.00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:14.320
As far as soft feminine energy goes, I feel like anytime someone says, I'm romanticizing my life, what they really mean is that they're tapping into their soft feminine energy.00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:14.719
Yeah.00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:30.320
And so I feel like you can really tap into this by journaling, taking a hot bath with like lavender or something like that, being in nature, growing something, picking flowers, wearing pink.00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:31.039
Yeah.00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:33.679
Wearing bows, wearing florals.00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:38.000
I literally picked up a dandelion today and made a wish and blew it.00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:40.079
That is so soft feminine.00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:41.280
I love that.00:40:41.599 --> 00:40:42.639
I love that for you.00:40:42.960 --> 00:40:43.599
Yeah.00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:46.320
A big part of this is too being connected.00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:49.679
So a soft feminine thing to do would be go to therapy.00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:50.480
Go to therapy.00:40:50.639 --> 00:40:52.880
Or have a heart to heart with a friend.00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:59.119
You know, paint a picture, paint something, cry, read.00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:04.480
These are all but read for enjoyment versus eat for enjoyment.00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:05.679
Yes, eat for enjoyment.00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:06.159
Yes.00:41:06.639 --> 00:41:07.039
Yes.00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:07.599
Yeah.00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:11.199
I actually, so I recently bought a tea set.00:41:11.599 --> 00:41:11.840
Yeah.00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:13.119
And rose tea.00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:15.360
And I feel like that was very soft feminine energy.00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:16.559
That is so soft feminine.00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:18.880
It felt, it felt very soft feminine energy.00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:24.880
I feel, I feel very soft feminine energy in like the spring and summer.00:41:25.039 --> 00:41:25.360
Yeah.00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:29.519
And like Jake will tell you, like, I'll grow one tomato.00:41:29.599 --> 00:41:33.519
And I'm like, am I Mother Earth?00:41:34.079 --> 00:41:37.039
Am I better than everyone?00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:41.280
Am I the divine fucking feminine?00:41:41.519 --> 00:41:42.079
Oh my god.00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:43.599
Yeah, so grow something.00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.719
I have my my whole office is like lined with plants.00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:47.199
Yes.00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:48.960
I'm like, yes, constantly.00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:54.559
Like I can tell how in flow I am based on like how I feel about having to water my plants.00:41:54.639 --> 00:41:58.960
Like I'll always get it done, but sometimes I'm just like, I am earth.00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:00.159
Yes.00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:02.880
Other times I'll be like, fuck, I have to water these fucking plants.00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.840
And you can tell that's like literally being in your shadow feminine.00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:06.159
Yeah.00:42:07.679 --> 00:42:08.880
Yes, 100%.00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:09.760
100%.00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:14.559
What do you visualize as your softest feminine girly?00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:15.679
What could she look like?00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:18.000
In the most comfortable bed that ever lived.00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:18.719
Ah yes.00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:22.480
Such a good blanket, such a good mattress, like so soft and cozy.00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:23.920
What is it like silk?00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:24.320
Yeah.00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:25.039
Oh my God.00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:28.079
I have silk sheets on my bed.00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:29.519
But it's soft feminine.00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:30.400
100% silk.00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:30.800
I love that.00:42:30.960 --> 00:42:33.119
And if they splurge, worth getting.00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:33.519
Yeah.00:42:33.679 --> 00:42:34.639
And they're pink.00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:36.480
They're like the soft pink.00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:37.519
Oh, incredible.00:42:37.760 --> 00:42:38.320
It's crazy.00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:38.719
Yes.00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:41.199
The soft feminine is also very cozy.00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:42.000
And cute.00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:44.159
So she's she's super cozy in a bed.00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:49.840
Or she like has her favorite tea and it's like, you know, full of the flavor that she loves.00:42:50.079 --> 00:42:53.360
Or she's drinking a green smoothie.00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:53.920
Yes.00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:58.719
So like literally, like I am, I am juice, I am health, I am wealth.00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:04.079
Um even when I like go to the gym and like look in the mirror, I'm like, that's you know, like it's softer.00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:07.280
Um and it just feels it feels like soft strength.00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:07.760
Yeah.00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:08.159
Yeah.00:43:08.239 --> 00:43:12.480
So to me, like my soft feminine, my soft feminine energy is like soft strength.00:43:12.719 --> 00:43:13.360
I like that.00:43:13.599 --> 00:43:13.920
Yeah.00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:14.320
Yeah.00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:15.199
I love that.00:43:16.079 --> 00:43:16.400
I love that.00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:17.039
What about you?00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:22.880
What's what is like soft in your like in your like cute heart?00:43:23.119 --> 00:43:23.519
Yes.00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:25.280
So my like my yes.00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:25.679
Yes.00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:25.920
Yeah.00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:26.800
My my cute.00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:29.840
She I feel like she's like a renaissance girly.00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:30.960
Oh my god.00:43:31.199 --> 00:43:37.920
She's uh she's very, very like on the polar opposite of my femme fatale side, which is my dark feminine.00:43:38.559 --> 00:43:49.599
She is I she's like a renaissance girly, and she is just like free spirited, running through a garden barefoot, like all fucking day.00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:50.960
Yeah, I love that.00:43:51.199 --> 00:43:57.519
Yeah, and just picking flowers and just like painting pictures of them and just like doing nothing.00:43:57.840 --> 00:44:01.519
Oh that sounds like just Soft and cozy.00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:02.400
Yeah, exactly.00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:05.199
That sounds really um serene.00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:06.880
Yeah, it is very serene.00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:08.480
That's why there is a serenity.00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:10.400
Yes, yeah, definitely serenity.00:44:10.559 --> 00:44:14.400
I love, I love, love, love being in my soft feminine energy.00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:17.360
And I think that's that's what I have the most of.00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.159
And I love being able to do that.00:44:20.239 --> 00:44:24.559
And I hate when I feel like it's compromised by people.00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:32.320
And but that being said, you gotta adapt and you gotta go into the dark feminine energy, which is not difficult for me.00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:38.000
The more difficult thing for me is leaning into the masculine energy because that is also important too.00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:39.280
And you need to be able to do that.00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:43.360
And I've found my pocket, I think, of being able to do that.00:44:43.519 --> 00:44:45.039
If anything, I could do it more.00:44:45.199 --> 00:44:45.519
Yeah.00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:49.760
Um, because it's all about finding the balance that works for you.00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:55.519
And I think that that's probably ever evolving as circumstances change as you age.00:44:55.599 --> 00:44:55.760
Yeah.00:44:56.000 --> 00:45:04.480
So I imagine that that will be ever evolving, but I hope that I'm always able to keep the soft feminine side of me because it is my favorite side of me.00:45:04.719 --> 00:45:05.760
I think you will be able to.00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:06.559
I think so too.00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:13.519
You know, like it's just one of those things that um I feel like when you become a mother, it might shift it a little bit.00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:18.320
But like it just it'll become more like maternal in a way.00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:18.559
Yeah.00:45:18.719 --> 00:45:18.880
Right.00:45:18.960 --> 00:45:26.079
Like, not like it's gonna take away like the cuteness of it, but it's gonna take away the like um maybe little girlness of it, right?00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:34.159
Because then it becomes like a bit more nurturing as opposed to just like only like it becomes more um a back and forth flow.00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:34.639
Yeah.00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:34.960
Yeah.00:45:35.119 --> 00:45:36.639
Like a give and take kind of thing, right?00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:37.039
Yeah.00:45:37.199 --> 00:45:37.440
Yeah.00:45:37.519 --> 00:45:38.400
What do you think?00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:40.320
I I like that perspective.00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:40.639
Yeah.00:45:40.719 --> 00:45:43.599
I've always worried, because I do want to have one child too.00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:46.800
I've always worried a little bit about what's going to be lost.00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:49.199
It's just gonna be passed down, it's never gonna be lost.00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:53.679
Yeah, you know, like you, like your your kiddo gets that softness, especially if you have a daughter.00:45:53.840 --> 00:46:03.440
I won't think she's gonna I will not, I will not bring a female into this world, especially with my genetics.00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:05.679
I will never have a child of my own.00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.840
Because what's my intro?00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:09.760
I put the psycho in the psycho.00:46:10.239 --> 00:46:11.280
Are you fucking kidding me?00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:12.480
Are you deaf?00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:13.679
Absolutely.00:46:14.079 --> 00:46:15.440
Did she stutter?00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:21.760
Definitely not gonna do that to a poor, defenseless creature that does not need that to happen to them.00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:24.960
Yeah, that soul can incarnate something else, but I'm not fucking doing it.00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:25.440
No.00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:31.199
Um, because I know that whatever, whatever demon spawn came out of me would just not, I just couldn't.00:46:31.360 --> 00:46:37.440
So, you know, I'm trying to be that light in life and uh having a demon spawn would not allow that to happen.00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:40.320
I I feel like that's actually a very selfless decision.00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:41.039
I think so too.00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:41.519
Of yours.00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:42.639
Yeah, I think so too.00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:48.239
Because I I can be a mother of many other things, but like absolutely no.00:46:48.719 --> 00:46:50.000
It's just an archetype.00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:52.079
You can lean into it and you can lean out of it.00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:52.639
Definitely.00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:56.559
Plus, I want to be a stepmom, so maybe a stepmom someday.00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:57.199
Men.00:46:57.760 --> 00:46:58.639
Did you hear that?00:46:59.199 --> 00:47:00.239
Yes, yeah.00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:01.679
I liked I liked stepmoming.00:47:01.760 --> 00:47:02.800
I like a stilf.00:47:03.119 --> 00:47:03.760
A stilph.00:47:04.800 --> 00:47:05.519
A stilf.00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:10.880
I remember you saying once to me that you want to be a safe adult in kids' lives.00:47:11.039 --> 00:47:11.199
Yes.00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:13.280
And I think that that was really freaking cool.00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:14.000
Thank you.00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:14.400
Yeah.00:47:14.559 --> 00:47:14.960
Thank you.00:47:15.039 --> 00:47:15.679
Yeah, I do.00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:19.280
I like being, I like um I didn't have one growing up.00:47:19.599 --> 00:47:21.199
You know, I didn't have a safe adult.00:47:21.360 --> 00:47:25.039
And if I did, um, maybe I wouldn't have had to go through as much as I did.00:47:25.119 --> 00:47:25.360
Yeah.00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:30.880
Maybe I would have um had somebody intelligent who could have helped me protect myself.00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:38.159
You know, maybe they couldn't get me out, but they could at least teach me how to navigate it in a way that mitigates long-term damage.00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:38.639
Yeah.00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:45.440
But if you grow up without safe adults, it'll be really hard to find the safe adults when you're an adult.00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:45.840
Yeah.00:47:46.079 --> 00:47:46.400
You know?00:47:46.559 --> 00:47:54.480
And so that's what I think a lot of women are not able to be in their feminine energy because the people around them just aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing.00:47:54.719 --> 00:47:56.400
That's because they've chosen the wrong people.00:47:56.559 --> 00:47:56.719
Yeah.00:47:56.960 --> 00:47:58.000
If you don't like that, get away from it.00:47:58.079 --> 00:48:00.800
Go away around people who are a little more conscious.00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:02.880
Yes, if if you can.00:48:03.360 --> 00:48:04.639
Sometimes it's not always a choice.00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:11.760
Sometimes it's not always a choice, but you can always make a choice to, and this is this is coming from somebody who survived a murder attempt.00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:15.119
You can always make a choice to fix it and get away.00:48:15.280 --> 00:48:15.519
Yeah.00:48:15.679 --> 00:48:16.320
You always can.00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:18.320
There is, there is always some way.00:48:18.719 --> 00:48:20.639
And all you have to do is just figure out what it is.00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:20.960
Yeah.00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:21.679
To get free.00:48:22.079 --> 00:48:22.559
Absolutely.00:48:22.719 --> 00:48:23.199
Yeah.00:48:23.519 --> 00:48:29.199
That's actually that's something that I used to be very like, oh no, I was trapped, I was trapped, I was trapped.00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:30.800
No, I figured out how to get out.00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:35.039
It was it was hard, but like when the moment came, I was ready to run.00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:40.480
You know, you set yourself up so that the very first opening that you find, you take it and you can fucking run.00:48:40.719 --> 00:48:41.280
Absolutely.00:48:41.440 --> 00:48:41.679
Yeah.00:48:41.840 --> 00:48:45.840
That is some divine ass feminine energy that you used there.00:48:46.079 --> 00:48:46.880
Yeah, it's real.00:48:47.039 --> 00:48:47.199
Yeah.00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:56.159
It's um, it's it's a mistake that ideally you only make once, but it's something that you get to survive.00:48:56.480 --> 00:49:01.519
And it matters to be really resourceful to survive.00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:02.000
Yeah.00:49:02.159 --> 00:49:02.400
Yeah.00:49:02.559 --> 00:49:04.559
If you're resourceful, you can get out of any situation.00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:05.920
I completely agree.00:49:06.079 --> 00:49:13.760
I think that that's a big element too of when people try to make an argument of like, why did you stay?00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:14.079
Yeah.00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:18.079
Because sometimes it's more dangerous to leave.00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:18.400
Yep.00:49:18.559 --> 00:49:19.599
And you gotta be smart about it.00:49:19.679 --> 00:49:19.840
Yep.00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:22.239
I had to wait until that motherfucker was in jail before I could get out.00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:23.599
But I got out.00:49:23.840 --> 00:49:32.719
And I I just knew that there would eventually be a time where I had to save my own life and it was gonna be that, or I didn't, and then I can live.00:49:33.119 --> 00:49:35.519
So, like you eventually find what motivates you.00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:36.880
Yeah, you always do.00:49:37.119 --> 00:49:45.599
And it's after a while, it is a choice to stay in a situation where openings present themselves.00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:58.320
And when you really are like truly, when you survive a murder attempt, when you really are between like, how am I gonna get out of this and am I going to have to fight back to survive this?00:49:58.880 --> 00:50:03.840
Like you realize just what you can survive.00:50:04.159 --> 00:50:08.639
Yeah, there's nothing that makes you more fearless than surviving something like that.00:50:08.880 --> 00:50:09.519
Absolutely.00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:09.840
Yeah.00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:13.760
It's like jumping out of a fucking airplane, except you don't know if you're gonna make it.00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:14.159
Right.00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:15.039
It's terrifying.00:50:15.119 --> 00:50:15.360
Yeah.00:50:15.519 --> 00:50:16.079
And cool.00:50:16.239 --> 00:50:17.440
Like on the other side of it, it's cool.00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:19.199
I'm like, that's that's kind of badass.00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:22.639
Did it feel like a new lease on life when you realized that you survived?00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:28.559
Um, it felt like the most what the fuck, how the fuck did I fucking find myself in this fucking situation?00:50:28.719 --> 00:50:39.360
Oh my god, oh my god, feeling and then and then it was very, very much like I am so glad that I found myself in that situation because it brought me here.00:50:39.519 --> 00:50:39.760
Yeah.00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:44.639
Like I remember being in that relationship, like just trying to, I was plotting my time to figure out how I was gonna get out.00:50:44.719 --> 00:50:56.320
And at the same time, I was also um like trying to understand like a little bit more behind the mentality of it, just in case like I needed to get in.00:50:56.400 --> 00:50:58.079
I I don't know, I was pretty scared for my life.00:50:58.159 --> 00:50:59.599
So I was like, you know, whatever.00:50:59.679 --> 00:51:02.639
I just need to figure out how all this works so that I don't get killed.00:51:02.800 --> 00:51:03.119
Yeah.00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:05.760
Um, you know, that was when I was like plotting how to get out.00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:11.039
And so, like another piece of like divine feminine energy is like it's clever.00:51:11.199 --> 00:51:13.360
Yes, it's resourceful, it's clever.00:51:13.519 --> 00:51:16.159
Yes, I like the resourceful word for sure.00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:17.119
I always think clever.00:51:17.199 --> 00:51:18.880
I've never thought of resourceful though.00:51:18.960 --> 00:51:19.519
I really like that.00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:22.639
Yeah, even just being Machiavellian can be clever to be resourceful.00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:25.039
Oh, absolutely that's exactly what it is.00:51:25.679 --> 00:51:27.199
Yeah, an evolutionary advantage.00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:28.159
Yeah, 100%.00:51:28.639 --> 00:51:29.119
Yeah, yeah.00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:30.239
Yeah, I like that.00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:35.199
Yeah, I like that, and I really appreciate you sharing your story with us.00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:45.280
I I think that it is really a really important story, and I think that it's unfortunately one that a lot of us can see ourselves in.00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:53.119
I know it's it's like absurd how many women have um been in really, really dangerously abusive relationships.00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:53.519
Yeah.00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:53.920
Yeah.00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:54.880
It's like absurd.00:51:55.119 --> 00:51:55.440
Yeah.00:51:55.599 --> 00:51:55.840
Yeah.00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:56.159
Yeah.00:51:56.559 --> 00:51:56.960
100%.00:51:57.440 --> 00:51:57.760
Yeah.00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:05.360
Final thoughts on how our girlies can hone their feminine energy.00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:12.559
Be intentional about how you present yourself when it comes to your feminine energy.00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:17.199
Make sure that you don't put it out where it will not be received.00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:17.519
Yes.00:52:17.679 --> 00:52:18.960
And where you can't receive.00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:22.800
And if you can't receive, don't open yourself up yet.00:52:23.440 --> 00:52:31.519
Be protective over yourself and wait for the right time because there's no reason to leak your feminine energy if you don't need to.00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:32.400
Yeah.00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:33.119
Yeah.00:52:33.519 --> 00:52:34.159
Absolutely.00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:35.199
I love all of that.00:52:35.440 --> 00:52:36.079
Thank you.00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:50.320
Yeah, I I think that there definitely needs to be a level of self-protection and you can make decisions without being controlling.00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:50.719
Yeah.00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:54.320
You can take up space without being being aggressive.00:52:54.559 --> 00:52:54.800
Yeah.00:52:55.039 --> 00:53:08.400
You know, you can do all of these things and you can tie in or sprinkle on masculine traits into your feminine energy to make the divine feminine.00:53:08.559 --> 00:53:13.920
And also be able to lean into both your dark feminine and your soft feminine.00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:16.159
I think that they're both incredibly important.00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:16.639
Yeah.00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:27.440
I know that I talked a lot about soft feminine being extremely joyful and nice, but the dark feminine is also very important and very beautiful as well.00:53:28.079 --> 00:53:31.679
And we should be able to own our sexuality.00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:32.239
Yeah.00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:42.559
We should be able to be confident in being the witty one in the room, being the intriguing one in the room.00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:43.039
Yeah.00:53:43.360 --> 00:53:44.639
We should take up space.00:53:44.960 --> 00:53:45.599
I love that.00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:46.000
Yeah.00:53:46.239 --> 00:53:46.719
I love that.00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:47.519
Take up space.00:53:47.679 --> 00:53:47.920
Yeah.00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:51.760
So find the balance of all of these things that works for you.00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:55.760
Also, never be mommy.00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:58.880
Never to a man child fuck boy.00:53:59.360 --> 00:54:00.079
Don't do it.00:54:00.480 --> 00:54:01.119
Don't do it.00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:02.000
Not worth it.00:54:02.159 --> 00:54:02.320
No.00:54:02.559 --> 00:54:03.039
Not at all.00:54:03.440 --> 00:54:03.679
No.00:54:03.920 --> 00:54:04.079
No.00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:05.599
Pick the right people.00:54:05.920 --> 00:54:06.400
Pick the right people.00:54:06.639 --> 00:54:07.119
Pick the right people.00:54:07.679 --> 00:54:08.480
Don't pick anyone.00:54:08.880 --> 00:54:09.920
Or don't pick anyone.00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:10.639
That's fine too.00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:11.519
Don't settle.00:54:11.760 --> 00:54:12.000
Yeah.00:54:12.159 --> 00:54:12.320
Yeah.00:54:12.719 --> 00:54:13.920
Don't flinch, don't settle.00:54:14.079 --> 00:54:14.400
Yeah.00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:14.880
Yep.00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:15.599
Exactly.00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:16.000
Yeah.00:54:16.239 --> 00:54:21.440
Make an environment where you can feel safe leaning into your feminine energy.00:54:21.519 --> 00:54:27.119
So if that looks like being with a certain type of person, do that.00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:29.679
If that looks like being alone, do that.00:54:29.920 --> 00:54:31.440
Those are both great things to be.00:54:31.679 --> 00:54:32.239
They are.00:54:32.559 --> 00:54:33.199
All right.00:54:33.440 --> 00:54:35.760
Well, thank you so much for listening.00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:43.920
Please follow us on Hot Girl Psychology, Hot Girl Psychology Podcast on everything.00:54:44.079 --> 00:54:48.480
Um, please DM us about any topics that you want to hear.00:54:48.639 --> 00:54:55.360
If you want to hear any hot girl archetypes that we have not talked about, we are so open to suggestions.00:54:55.440 --> 00:54:56.880
So we want to hear from you.00:54:57.119 --> 00:54:57.280
Yeah.00:54:57.360 --> 00:54:59.599
I know who you are, who our hot girls are.00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:00.079
Yeah.00:55:00.239 --> 00:55:00.559
Yeah.00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:02.480
Thank you so much for listening.00:55:02.639 --> 00:55:07.599
Tune in next week where we will be covering more hot girl things.00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:09.679
We love hot girl things.00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:10.400
All right.00:55:10.559 --> 00:55:12.159
Thank you so much, girls.00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:12.960
Bye.
